Lady in Waiting
by Expert Shinobi
Summary: Almost a year ago Sasuke left her with a promise return. Shortly afterward, she fell apart. Now, Sakura wonders whether he ever had the heart to love her and if she really has the will to stay. What starts as a two-week vacation away from Konoha turns into an reckless journey to form her own path. Set after chapter 699, before 700. SakuraxGaara
1. Punchdrunk

_It's been a long time since I've written Naruto fanfiction, but Naruto was one of the first manga I ever read and I truly loved the story and the characters, so I wanted to get back into it with something new. Unfortunately, I fell off reading the manga when I felt as though things were getting drawn out. Recently, however, I spoiled myself on the ending and while I wasn't incredibly angry with the pairings the way some were, I did feel a bit disappointed. I'm not someone who is a diehard Sakura/Naruto fan, but I never did have strong positive feelings toward Sasuke, and I feel that despite all he's been through, Sakura were never a right match. I wanted her to transcend that childhood crush and fight for herself, rather than for the sake of someone who didn't seem capable of giving a damn. Regardless of his past and struggles, I thought she deserved more, and to find her own way._

_I know a lot of people don't care for Sakura, and I certainly wavered between loving and wanting to strangle her at times, but one of the reasons I do treasure her character is probably the reason a lot of people hate her. She's just so… normal. She doesn't have a tragic backstory, she doesn't have some great powerful destiny, but still, she's grown so much and through it all manages to show up, stand tall, and fight for who she loves. Sure, she had a ridiculous childhood crush, but it's also incredibly real. When you're that young, you tend you think in absolutes and that you can save someone with the power of your will and love. As a friend, Naruto was able to bring Sasuke back, so we're supposed to believe that with love, Sakura could do the same, but that's the area where I could no longer suspend disbelief. I don't think Sasuke could ever love Sakura the way she needed to be loved, and I don't necessarily think Sakura could ever truly deal with the wandering, distant man that Sasuke will always be (imo). But hey, that's me. Thoughts and opinions! Anyway, I love non-canon pairings and I love Sakura, so I hope you enjoy this fic!_

_Also don't murder me. I never finished "On Her Sleeve" because it was written so, so long ago. But, I really want to pick it up like "Bearing Blue" for a total retcon. I'll keep you posted!_

* * *

><p><strong>Lady in Waiting<strong>

**Chapter One:** Punchdrunk

* * *

><p>Ichiraku was live with bodies and cheer. Sakura could feel it before she even entered the room. It was a fitting place for the party. So many memories. Ever since Naruto had first set foot there, it seemed it'd been blessed with good cheer. Through wars and rivalry, food shortages and Naruto's morning after binges, the smiling faces and fresh noodles remained a friendly constant. Years went by and the once small ramen bar expanded into a full-fledged restaurant. Teuchi and Ayame were never short on food or customers.<p>

Ichiraku had always been a place of celebration. And yet, there, that night, Sakura stood in the doorway, clutching a pink giftbox to her chest, scared to enter. She'd spent most of the night at her apartment, fussing over what to wear and taking shots of liquid courage between outfit changes. She settled on an open-backed white minidress, but her stomach couldn't take the hint.

It shouldn't have been this way. She shouldn't have felt like this.

Her best guy friend, and her sweetest girlfriend getting engaged. It should have sent her heart soaring, but whenever Sakura looked at the empty space in her bed, and stewed alone on nights just like this, it left her breathless and desperate.

"Yo forehead!"

The familiar taunt sent Sakura rigid, and she spun around to see Ino rushing toward her, carrying a bouquet of pink and yellow flowers.

"Ino…" Sakura squeezed her own gift a little harder, unsure of what to say.

The blonde sprang forward, laughing, and Sakura took note of her perfectly curled hair and painted lips.

"What are you doing hanging around outside? Did we miss the party already or what? It's only an hour in, and there's no way that blonde troublemaker would—

"—I haven't gone in yet," Sakura admitted, and Ino screwed up her face in confusion.

"Really?" She leaned in and took a deep inhale. "Because you smell like a brewery."

"Yeah," Sakura chuckled. "I got a little excited back at home."

For a second, Ino looked unsure, but before she could start up with a game of 20 questions, their favorite blonde troublemaker burst through the cloth doorway with a shout.

"Ahhh, I knew it! I knew I heard you guys out here!" Laughing far too loud, Naruto sprang forward and hugged both girls around the shoulders. He'd clearly had his own share of drink already, and luckily for Sakura, Ino immediately turned her attention to that.

"Jesus, Naruto! Quit trying to kill us you dumbass!" Ino managed to pry her way out, but the blonde tugged Sakura forward toward the bar.

As soon as she stepped in, Sakura was overwhelmed by light and noise. It seemed like everyone Naruto had ever met had shown up for the engagement party. Lee and Tenten, obviously fueled by alcohol were doing a raging round of karaoke in the corner, while Hinata, face on fire with blush, sat between Kiba and Shino who were happily trying to engage her in drinking games. Sakura couldn't help but stare. The Hyuuga's long, raven hair was pinned back with a toy tiara and veil. Her eyes, so pale and clear, seemed to shine with joy. She would be a beautiful bride, Sakura thought.

"I'm so glad you came, Sakura-chan." Naruto completed the circle with his arms around Sakura's shoulders, and leaned in for a tight hug. "It's never the same without you."

No matter how strong he got, or whatever ridiculous thing he did with his hair (this month it was a close buzz cut), the blonde's warmth never changed. Smiling to herself, Sakura nodded, and reached past Kakashi at the bar with Guy for his half full glass of sake. Behind his mask, the copynin frowned, but she paid it no mind.

With Naruto still glued to her side, Sakura searched the crowd for Ino again, only to find her cozied up against a strangely peaceful looking Sai.

When did this happen? She thought. When had everyone gone and paired up?

"I know. It's weird, huh? Even boring-ass Shikamaru started going on 'vacation' trips to Suna recently, and we all know what that's about."

It wasn't until Naruto responded that Sakura realized she'd spoken those thoughts aloud.

"And once Sasuke gets back, you guys totally next." He laughed, but just the mention of the dark-haired shinobi made Sakura feel ill. Swallowing down her drink, she passed her gift along into Naruto's open arms. It was a figurine. Or something. She couldn't remember now in her tipsy state.

"_If_ he comes back," she chuckled, but Naruto immediately picked up on the bitter tone in her voice. Though the blonde was famous for being a bit dim at times, when it came to his friends, the man was Einstein.

While Choji whizzed past them to jump up next on the karaoke stage, Naruto pulled the pinkette to the side, back behind the bar with the stereo equipment.

"What do you mean,_ if_?" Naruto's bright blue eyes took on a dark tinge, and Sakura shook her head to clear the bitter haze. "Just a few months ago I thought you said he—

"—I'm only kidding!" She blurted, rubbing the back of her neck in a rather Naruto-like fashion. "He promised, after all. I'm just…just a little stressed. If Hinata was out traveling who-knows-where doing god-knows-what for ages, wouldn't you be a bit freaked?"

Naruto eyed her carefully before bursting into a grin.

"Ah, I dunno. My Hinata's pretty strong! She could take care of herself," he joked, and then when Sakura rolled her eyes, placed his hands on her shoulders again.

"Don't worry, I get it," he leaned in close – too close, and Sakura closed her eyes, drinking in the feeling of the sake in her tummy, and his warmth.

She'd begun take to take notice of that warmth, and that determination during the war, but it wasn't until things had settled and Naruto began spending more time with Hinata that the feelings of love and admiration had slowly morphed into a stinging jealousy. Sasuke had left her with a promise, but with every passing day, she wondered if that was enough.

"I really missed out, huh?" Sakura blinked open her eyes to stare up at Naruto. In the dim lighting of the restaurant, his calm eyes seemed so strong and sure.

But he frowned, confused, and goosebumps prickled on Sakura's pale skin.

"Sometimes I think I followed the wrong man." She touched the collar of his shirt, but almost immediately, the sober part of her screamed no.

'_WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!'_

"Sakura enough…" Naruto turned his head away, as if looking for someone to save him.

"Yeah, I know," She scoffed to herself, picking up another discarded glass from the counter and sipping. "Too little, too late."

"That's not what I mean," Naruto pulled it form her hands. "We both know where this is coming from, Sakura-chan. You'll always be my friend, but Sasuke—

"—why does every conversation with you have to revolve around him?" She snapped, but before Sakura could take another step, the curtain parted and a pair of familiar grey eyes were trained on them both.

"Sakura-chan…" Hinata stepped forward from the front of the bar, her hands clasped in front of her. Instead of wearing her usual radiant smile, she curvy girl looked tightlipped and embarrassed.

"I'm-I'm happy you came to celebrate but-but I think that maybe…maybe now you should leave?" Her pale cheeks were warm with blush, but Sakura could hear the warning tone in her voice. She'd grown as well. And not just to be beautiful, but a force to be reckoned with.

Sakura looked to Naruto for help, but his gaze was on the ground behind them, where she caught sight of the spare karaoke microphone, still very obviously connected to the machine.

It was then she noticed the silence of the once rowdy restaurant, and that Choji's voice was nowhere to be heard. Just the soft echo of the Hyuuga's pleading.

"I-I…" Sakura covered her mouth with her hands, and pushed past in a hurry. As soon as she popped back into the front of the restaurant, she could see everyone staring sadly, or looking away in embarrassment. Even Kakashi wouldn't meet her gaze.

Sakura immediately wanted to apologize – to prostrate herself and make it all go away, but it wasn't the time. She was trashed, and it was _their_ night. They deserved to have all the cheer and celebration possible. After everything Naruto and Hinata had gone through – together, apart, they deserved it all.

Without another word, Sakura rushed out the door and in her drunken stupor, as far from Ichiraku as she could manage.

'_You never should have come.'_

"I know that," Sakura muttered to herself, and looked up to the sky, sighing aloud. A full moon. So beautiful.

Hiking up the edge of her dress, Sakura managed to launch up from the ground and into the nearest treetop. From there, she scaled from branch to branch until she landed on the rooftop of the old schoolhouse. Sakura loved heights, and at that moment, it seemed the best way to distance herself from everyone and everything.

Or, so she thought.

"Haruno?"

A smooth, deep voice shocked Sakura out of her trance, and made her heart catch in her throat. That beautiful, low timbre…

_It couldn't be…could it?_

As she cocked her head to the side, a shock of red hair come into view, and then the tan curve of a gourd.

_No._

"K-kazekage-sama…" Sakura tried to hide the disappointment in her tone, but when she turned to face Gaara completely, she saw a flicker of something in his eyes.

_Annoyance?_

"What are you doing up here?" Sakura rose to her feet on the roof, leaning up to close the distance between them.

Still more than quite buzzed, she only realized their closeness when Gaara took an awkward step backward.

"I could ask you the same, Haruno." There was a hint of dark smile on his lips, and it ticked Sakura off. The silly smirks boys made. As if they knew it all.

'_Fuck you.' _

"But you didn't," Sakura huffed. "And I asked first, so the least you could do is answer the question." She stumbled a little on the roof, and at this, Gaara seemed distressed. With a heavy sigh, he stepped into the tipsy kunoichi.

"I came up to see the moon," He offered. "Full moons are soothing. It's a beautiful night to meditate."

Sakura chuckled to herself. Gaara's explanation was quick and succinct. Even after so much time had passed, and so many things had changed, the Kazekage always managed to be serious and brooding about something.

"Tonight's a night for indulging. It's supposed to be a joyous occasion, you know," Sakura frowned, thinking of the way she'd embarrassed herself at the party. Gaara eyed the pink haired girl somberly. He wasn't the type who could read women easily, but could easily sense the bitterness in Sakura's tone.

"I don't drink," he admitted, still watching Sakura's steps carefully, ready to send his sand out to catch her if necessary.

"It's an engagement party," Sakura spat. "Why don't you just indulge for once?" Inside, she was fuming. The way Gaara stood there, so cool and collected… it reminded her of _him_, and drove her up the wall.

"Haruno, it seems you've done quite enough of that for us both tonight." Gaara said it, and immediately regretted it, because despite the fact that he meant to be lighthearted, it was clearly too soon for the drunken pinkette.

"And what do you know about it?" Sakura finally snapped, launching towards him.

'_Calm down. He has nothing to do with this,'_ she told herself, but by then, it was too late.

It only took a moment. A split second and she lost her footing, tumbling down off the roof. Sober, she would have been able to right herself, but bogged down with alcohol, Sakura couldn't make heads or tails of anything. Immediately, a pillow of sand shot out and caught her as she tumbled down. Gently, Gaara righted her on the ground, and jumped down to meet her.

"Are you all right?" His cool monotone reached Sakura's ears and she shivered, feeling truly pathetic.

"Thank you," she mumbled. "I…I don't know what I was—

"—There's no need for all of that," Gaara insisted. "Come. I'll walk you home."

Sakura stared at the redhead, dumbfounded, Gaara was obviously in town to support Naruto. They were the ones with the true bond of friendship, and there she was, becoming a nuisance.

"You don't have to do this," Sakura spoke as Gaara turned his back on her to start walking.

"I know I don't _have _to. But I _want _to." Gaara shifted his hands into his pockets. "All the noise back there was overwhelming. I could use a walk now."

_'Apologize.'_ Her heart told her._ 'Apologize again.'_ But Sakura stayed planted.

"And…of course, any treasured friend of Naruto is a treasured friend of mine," Gaara continued, and Sakura felt a shameful warmth creep into her cheeks. After her drunken show at the party, she wasn't sure how much of that was true anymore.

"I made a mistake tonight," Sakura blurted. She didn't know why she was telling the stoic-looking man before her. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the way the moon shone against his pale skin, making him look so soft and young. "I don't know if I can fix it."

"Times of great joy often bring great sorrow," Gaara offered. "It's not my business to know why, but do know that I understand. It's easy to feel alone in a group of people."

Sakura's breath caught in her throat. Of all the people…she'd never expected this form him.

Wordlessly, Sakura stepped forward to meet Gaara, and tried her best to keep her footsteps steady as she lead the way home. And so they walked. Sakura in front, Gaara following slowly behind, silently on the lookout. When the pink haired girl slumped against her door, looking up, Gaara had already started to turn around. Panicked, she reached out for his arm, but missed and caught his hand instead.

He was so warm, it shocked her.

"Haruno?" The Kazekage turned, and Sakura imagined him raising a brow.

"You…you should come in," she said it softly, but judging from the ever so slight tinge of pink that dusted Gaara's cheeks, he'd heard her clearly.

"That's not necessary," he said, but made no quick move to pull his hand away. Instead, without thinking, he ran his thumb across her knuckles. Small, fragile bones beneath the pad of his fingertip. Strange. The intimate contact was something he wasn't used to, and it intrigued him.

Sakura, pleased by his warm reaction, pulled him forward, to her chest, silently wishing there was something larger there to cushion him.

"They all have their place," she tried hard to keep from breathing sake against his face. "Let's find ours. Here. Tonight."

At that, Gaara's gaze became strangely soft, but he pulled his hand away to rest flat on the top of her head. Almost immediately, Sakura felt tears welling in her eyes.

He, too, was set to leave her.

"Your time will come too, Haruno. And mine. Don't be afraid to wait." Gaara, said, and moving slow, as if he'd never done so in his life, gave Sakura's hair a stroke.

Sakura reached for him again, but before she could open her mouth, the redhead was gone in a flurry of sand.


	2. Pink Slip

**Title: Lady in Waiting**

**Chapter 2: Pink Slip**

**AN**: I'm not sure if many people are reading, but thank you for those who are! And to my first reviewer, **Mitchell343e!**

* * *

><p>Sakura woke up with a hangover and heavy heart. As soon as she opened her eyes to face the day, the reality of the night before came rushing back at full force. The sake and the karaoke, cornering Naruto like an idiot and Hinata's flushed face...<p>

And then there was Gaara.

Heat flooded into her cheeks at the memory of how she'd propositioned him, and how easily he'd turned her down. Honestly, she didn't really know what else she should have expected from the man. Gaara had remained level-headed as always, but what tore her apart the most was the unbearably kind and gentle way he'd reassured her of the future.

Sakura had never known him well, but in that moment… she wanted to. Still dazed, she closed her eyes and imagined his face again – soft and boyish in the moonlight.

"Ugh." Sakura sat up and pressed her face into her hands. "Fucking know-it-all."

At the end of the day, she'd humiliated herself in front of all of her friends, and ruined a special night for HInata and Naruto. Those two, more than anyone she knew, deserved to be happy, but still, Sakura couldn't get the jealous thoughts out of her head. Why couldn't it have been her? She wanted it too, after all. The love and the peace.

But there she was, alone. Sasuke had up and left her again. Waiting. Waiting for him to decide when it was time for her life to start. In the meantime, it was as if her life was in "rinse and repeat" mode. Get up, go to work, treat patients, eat, sleep, and do it all over again in the morning.

'_Get over it,'_ she told herself. _'As long as you're here, you're stuck waiting for him to come home to you. If he ever does.'_

Under any other circumstances, Sakura would have spent the rest of the day curled up in bed, but something inside pushed her to get up and moving. It was the same something that had hardened her heart against a certain Uchiha, and had her itching to run.

Head still hammering, she pushed up from bed and changed into a pink sweatshirt and dark cargo pants. Winter was coming, and she could already feel the chill settling into her bones. Without bothering to do her hair or wash her face, Sakura began going through her drawers. Shirts, skirts, pants, shorts - she grabbed all she could and began shoving items into a large rucksack. By the time she'd finished, almost all of the drawers had been cleared, and the space no longer looked like her own.

It had been a full month since she'd slept in that bed again. Since all the blood and the tears and lonliness. In her head, Sakura heard herself screaming.

_'It's about time I did this,'_ she told herself, shaking her head to clear the dark thoughts. _'If he gets to pick up and run away from his life, why not me?'_

With a heave, she strapped she bag to her back and headed for the door. Sakura felt like she was slowly going insane, but hell, at least she wouldn't have to do it there.

* * *

><p>"I need a vacation," Sakura announced as soon as she set foot in Tsunade's office. She'd moved as quickly as possible through the city, determined not to run into anyone she knew. And she was successful. Now, all Sakura had to do was get permission to break free.<p>

The buxom blonde hokage was elbow deep in paperwork, and looked highly amused by the declaration. Sakura knew she was preparing to step down and hand off the seat to Kakashi soon, but clearly there was still quite a bit to get sorted, first.

"Yeah? Well me too." She poured herself a glass of sake and offered Sakura a seat. "What else is new?"

Before Tsunade suggest a drink, Sakura shrugged off her rucksack and tossed it into the chair across from them. It landed with an obnoxious thud.

"No, I mean… I've earned a vacation," she blurted it in a rush. "I'm going. I have to leave. Today."

"Today?" The blonde woman's voice became sharp, but then upon observing Sakura's stiff form, she sighed. "Sakura, what's going on? Why now?"

Sakura forced a smile on her lips, but as she crossed her arms in front of her, couldn't help but dig her fingernails into her skin.

"I've just been a little stressed, and I think-

"—I heard about what happened last night," Tsunade interrupted the lie. "At the engagement party."

There was a stark silence in the room, and Sakura felt color rising into her cheeks. Of course. Of course it would get back to her. Kakashi had been there. Guy, Yamato…

"I wasn't going to mention it," the blonde spoke before Sakura could muster anything. "It's not relevant to your work here, and you're an excellent medic, but—

"—but what?" Sakura clenched a fist, wanting to slam it straight through the sannin's desk. "Shishou, I'm sorry, but like you said, that was a mistake that doesn't have anything to do with my work here, or my request!"

There was another tense silence, and Sakura, again, became acutely aware of the chill in the air.

"I've been wanting to talk to you about your work for a while now, actually." Tsunade finally offered Sakura a glass of sake, but the pink haired young woman shook her head. More drink was the last thing she needed, and Tsunade's tone was throwing her off.

"My work?" She glanced at her rucksack from the corner of her eye.

"Yes. Shizune's told me you're still refusing to work with children," Tsunade's voice became low, and suddenly Sakura felt herself being stifled.

"That's-that's nonsense! I haven't refused any work. I just…I don't feel I have the…the right level of…" Sakura's fingers began to twitch, and, on reflex, she clutched at her stomach. Tsunade's gaze softened.

"I never should have listened to you back then…" She spoke to herself as she lifted her own glass to her lips. Slowly, she rose to her feet and crossed the room to the check the lock on the office door. Gazing at Sakura firmly, she leaned against the wall.

"I should have insisted on grief counseling."

"Shishou, stop." Sakura's smile twitched. "I respect you so much, but I swear if you keep going on like this…I'll never forgive you."

"You haven't been the same since you lost the baby. And your patients are suffering for it."

"THAT'S A LIE!" A wind kicked up in the office, and Tsunade's papers went flying as Sakura stamped her foot against the ground. Anyone else would have been shocked, but the Godaime stood firm, unmoved.

"Two weeks," she said firmly, and fished out a pink piece of paper from one of the piles on her desk. Sakura recognized it immediately, and relief washed over her features.

"Shishou, I—

"—Two weeks and then back here for mandatory counseling with someone from our grief department." Tsunade handed it to her. "Use this time to get yourself together."

Sakura stared down her mentor, visibly displeased, but took the paper when offered. It was an official request for time off. She scribbled down her name and intended destination in the blanks, then signed in silence before sliding it back across the desk.

"I care about you deeply, Sakura," Tsunade's gaze was hard, but sincere. "I've said what I've said to inspire you, not hurt you. I can't imagine how it felt to go through it alone. But you're _not_ alone. You know that, don't you? You have me, your friends, and your family. Have you told them about what happened?"

"Why should I trouble them with something like that?" Sakura lifted her rucksack and shifted it back onto her shoulders. Her once vibrant green eyes were dull, and frosted over with apathy.

Tsunade made a soft sound of disapproval, but forced a smile on her lips. She, too, had once been a stubborn young girl, and knew well enough that nothing she said could make Sakura understand. Most importantly, she certainly couldn't risk losing anything else in her office to another mini-tornado.

"What do you plan to do in Suna?" Tsunade asked instead as she glanced at the request form.

Sakura closed her eyes briefly and imagined warm sand beneath her toes and a glimmer of red hair on the horizon.

"It's always warm there," she said. "I could use someplace warm."

* * *

><p>Short chapter, but really just laying down some foundations. No Gaara yet, but soon! ;) And slowly the entire situation of what's going on with Sasuke and Sakura will be revealed! Drop me a review if you like it!<p> 


	3. It's Always Sunny in Suna

**Title: Lady in Waiting**

**Chapter 3: It's Always Sunny in Suna**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So after the craziness of the holidays, I'm finally back! Sorry for the delay. Over the season my boyfriend came to visit, we frolicked, went to Paris, and I had to write four different papers, but I made it through! I hope your holidays were also wonderful, and that your new year is as well. Oh, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Yay! :)

* * *

><p>Gaara leaned forward on his desk and watched the grains of sand in his hourglass sift through again. He still had several days' worth of writeups from S-class missions to go over, but that morning, he couldn't quite focus. After a few signature requests and early meetings, Gaara quickly found his mind wandering. Slowly, he shifted his gaze from the sand to the window. Outside the Kage Tower, someone was flying a kite. Pale green with sakuras printed on the fabric. It struggled against the wind.<p>

"_You should come in…"_

He still heard her voice echoing in his head. Still felt her slim fingers locked around his in pleading.

Gaara was no skirt chaser, but he certainly wasn't an idiot. He knew what Sakura had intended that night, and though it wasn't the first time he'd heard words like that from a woman, somehow, from her lips it seemed far more sensual. He didn't know much about Sakura Haruno, but what he did know was strength, and Gaara valued strong women. He'd seen her send Naruto flying more than once, and watched her heal comrades in battle during the Fourth Shinobi World War. Strength like that was more than admirable, but along with this added vulnerability…it did something strange to him.

"_They all have their place. Let's find ours. Here. Tonight." _

Though she'd tried to mask it, her voice had been a husky with liquor. Their lips so close, all it would have taken was a second. A half step, and he could have tasted her.

"Fuck." Gaara pushed his hair back with both hands and leaned back in the chair. No matter how many times he told himself he wasn't that sort of man, the intrusive thoughts kept coming.

Up until that night, Sakura Haruno hadn't even really ever been on his radar. She was just, sort of, background noise. But now, for whatever reason, the volume had been turned up and she was at the forefront of his mind.

It had to have been the full moon. When Shukaku was still with him, Gaara always remembered being… "restless" for the entire week. With his head still in his hands, he thought painfully of one month spent pleasuring himself raw during a particularly long moon phase in his youth.

Still, this was oddly different. Back then, his thoughts had been focused on everyone and no one in particular, but now, it was nothing but Sakura. Her hands had felt so small and right in his. So right, he'd been unable to sleep without wondering more about that soft skin and feather-light touch.

'_Stop. Breathe.'_ He told himself_. 'Focus on something else. Anything else.'_

It wasn't the first time Garaa had experienced dreams of that nature, but if this continued, it would be a problem. He was man with responsibilities, after all, and Sakura Haruno was his best friend's, best friend! Aside from pink hair and powerful fists, he didn't even know anything about her.

It was crazy.

"Hey little bro – think fast!"

Just as Gaara turned, a carrier pigeon was hurled his way, smacking him straight in the face. The pigeon, obviously traumatized, tried frantically to free himself from the situation, scratching at Gaara's in the eyes and hair in the process.

In the doorway, Kankuro was doubled over, laughing hard at the sight of the bird digging itself into his little brother's red mane.

Gaara grit his teeth, biting back a snarl. "Do you always have to do that?" He took the pigeon in both hands, holding it away from his face as Kankuro cackled.

"As long as you keep spacing out like that, bro…. yeah."

Gaara rolled his eyes and sent tendrils of sand out towards the older male as a threat. Kankuro quickly took it as his cute to exit, leaving Gaara and the pigeon alone.

"Now what are you here for?" The redhead frowned at the messenger bird. Usually they came with an encrypted note attached to their legs, but this time, there was nothing. The pigeon cocked its head to the side, and Gaara let it go. Before he could shoo it away, however, its chest began to swell. Then head, then wings.

"What the—

At the last moment, Gaara's sand sprang into action, shielding his face from a spray of feathers and…

Slime?

When the sand wall retreated back to his gourd, the pigeon was gone, leaving a similar sized slug in its place. Gaara twitched, thinking of the busty kage from Konoha.

'_That woman…'_

He watched the large pink slug slide across his desk, leaving a sticky trail of words behind in its mess.

_Gaara,_

_Sakura Haruno, one of our most talented medics is on her way to Suna for two weeks of vacation._

_Tell your people to keep an eye out, won't you?_

_Can't risk having anything happen to her._

_- Tsunade_

Gaara eyed the message in confusion. Why send something like this to him? To inform him Sakura Haruno was taking a party break in Suna? Surely the girl had friends of her own back in Konoha who could keep tabs on her if necessary.

"Gaara, did you just get a…" Temari walked in to the office holding a slug by end of its tail, looking positively revolted. She stopped when she saw the mess on her brother's desk.

"Clearly," he grunted.

"And yours was about Sakura, too?" Temari tossed the slug on the floor next to Gaara's and waved her hands frantically to clear the slime. The duo melded into one another, and then disappeared with a sickening pop.

Gaara didn't bother to hide his grimace.

"Apparently she'll be arriving here on vacation and we're supposed to keep an eye out." He let his chin rest on his palm. "What do you think this is really about?"

"Some diplomatic thing, maybe?" Temari crossed her arms against her chest. "Who knows? Tsunade can be really bizarre. For all we know, it could be an elaborate scheme for the leaf to do undercover audits on hot spring water usage."

"Hn." Gaara looked out the window again, into the distance. The kite was flying high now, and a dark feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach. It didn't sit right with him. Konoha and Suna had established a peaceful arrangement for a while now. He didn't want to believe it could be anything malicious, but as the leader of his people, it was his duty to keep an eye out, not piss away his days entertaining silly schoolboy fantasies.

"Apparently she left yesterday morning, so I'll be out to meet her at the gate late tonight. We giving her somewhere to stay here?"

"Here?" Gaara's brow went up at the thought of Sakura vacationing in his home.

"It's only two weeks. We could certainly afford to put her up for a little while. Unless… you don't want her here?" Temari eyed her brother curiously, and noted the way his sand was swirling oddly on the floor. She'd known him long enough to realize it was a strange sign of discomfort.

"I didn't say anything of the sort." He picked up a sticky piece of paper from his desk and pretended to study it intently.

"Then I'll tell the staff to make up a room." Temari watched for Gaara's reaction, but her brother just closed his eyes and waved her off.

As soon as the door shut behind her, he crumpled the paper in his hand and tossed it across the room.

It seemed the damned tanuki would never let him rest.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Sakura was also in a state of unrest. Ever since her meeting with Tsunade, she was filled with a sense of overwhelming panic. For months, she'd been able to push away the loss, and then in a matter of moments it was all out on display again.<p>

But still, even moving through the trees with her heavy pack, Sakura was making good time. She left Konoha as soon as she'd gotten permission, and was almost three quarters of the way to her destination.

The choice of Suna hadn't really been about warmth, but rather, opportunity. Sakura couldn't bring herself to face Naruto or her parents before she left, but thought the least she could do was apologize to Gaara. The thought of reliving her humiliation of the nights before mortified her, but at least she could offer _someone_ something before taking off. And though it was embarrassing to admit it, he intrigued her. Gaara had changed so much since she'd known him as a child, and the way he'd tried to comfort her shook something inside. Her friends had always cared about her, yes, but she and Gaara barely knew each other.

It was settled. She'd take one day to apologize and leave a trail in Suna, and then, using the country as a cover, she could take off wherever she wanted. By the time they picked up on her disappearance, she could be halfway to earth or lightning country. For now, Sakura had in mind the Village of the Mist. With no ninja registration system and government slow to change, surely she could find somewhere to hide out. At least for a little while. Train by herself – develop a new style. Just… be alone. The possibilities were endless.

Sakura jumped down into the brush to pause for a bit of water.

She felt strange, making all those plans. Sakura Haruno was always the goody-two-shoes. At home, at school, at work. Always toeing the line and abiding by the rules. It wasn't until team 7 that she discovered how fun going against the grain could be. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough to watch your friends soar ahead in strength and bravery, while you were left in the dust. That was why she trained with Tsunade and built up her strength, but still, couldn't shake that longing. Medical training wasn't just hers. Shortly after, Ino had joined in, and then recently, Hinata. Suddenly, it was as if she was being left behind all over again.

Sakura closed her eyes and leaned back against a tree, thinking far more deeply than she'd wanted to.

"_You just got back," She tried to stop the tears from falling, but when Sasuke stood there in front of her like that, eyeing her like a child, there was no use._

"_I told you, this is something I need to do. To become a better man – a better shinobi." _

"_And I told you that I'd come with," she forced a smile. "All this time… everything we've been through…the least you could do is stay a while, don't you think?"_

_Sasuke narrowed his eyes. _

"_You mean all I've put you through, right? I swear…" He stepped across the room to put some distance between them, but Sakura was quick to jump back to his side again._

"_That's not at all what I meant!" she gripped his hands, but inside it irked her. He'd been officially pardoned and "home" now for weeks, but still hadn't apologized for anything yet. At least not to her. Instead, he was busy sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night and making plans to take off again._

"_Sasuke-kun, I just want us to be something together. More than this," she leaned into his side, and Sasuke pulled her close to his body, drawing a hand up the curve of her spine. When she trembled, he began massaging lightly through her nightgown._

"_And what's wrong with this?" He smirked. "You just told me how much you loved it a few minutes ago."_

_Sakura's face became hot with blush and anger, but she couldn't seem to find the words she wanted._

"_I love you," she said instead._

"_I know. The problem with you is that you've been so privileged…" Sasuke stroked the side of her face with his palm. "And it's not your fault. It's just hard for you to understand what real pain is…isn't it?" _

"_I…suppose," Sakura responded grudgingly. He was right, after all. She'd never understand what he or Naruto had been through. Not truly. And if being away for a while would help, who was Sakura to stop him?_

"_It's okay. You'll deal with it," Sasuke started to lower his mouth to hers. "You'll make it work."_

'_So it's all on me, huh?' Sakura thought, bult still tilted her face up to meet his. _

_This was what she always wanted, after all. His attention, his approval, his kiss. But somehow it never felt as lovely as she'd imagined as a child. An hour of pleasure and then gone again by morning. Once a week since he'd come home they met up in her bedroom, away from prying eyes, and went through the same motions. She'd beg, he'd rationalize, she'd accept, and after that they went to bed. _

Sakura felt hollow recalling the memory, and how easily she'd given in.

"_It's just the kind of man he is,"_ Ino had said, trying to comfort her the same night he left again_. "He doesn't know how to express himself. Doesn't want to be tied down for too long. But I think you could change him. Just stay. Wait a little while, and be there for him."_

And so she did. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. She waited, and even when she needed him the most, he refused to stay.

Sakura resisted the urge to clutch at her stomach. That was done and over with, after all. Instead, she secured her pack on her back once more and dropped down onto the ground completely, to where the craggly cliffs were almost gone and she could feel sand start to work its way under her feet.

The change in temperature was almost instant. Whereas Konoha was inching towards what looked to be its coldest winter yet, the air in Suna was warm and dry.

From where she stood, Sakura could see the Sunagakure gate in the distance, and then suddenly a shock of blonde hair. When she squinted, a trio of purple dots came into view.

"SAKURA!" A voice cried out, and though she smiled, Sakura's heart raced.

'_Temari,'_ she thought, squinting against the wind. _'Of course. Of course Tsunade would tell them I was coming.'_

"HEY!" Sakura forced herself to look cheerful as she waved toward the sand nin, but as soon as she shot her hand up, a gust of wind threatened to knock her off her feet.

Sand was everywhere, even with the heat, Sakura struggled to hold her scarf up and keep it out of her eyes.

"HOLD ON!" Temari's voice came once more, and Sakura watched her make one, large, sweeping movement with her fan.

The gust picked up, but in a matter of seconds there was a break, and Sakura took the chance to bolt forward towards the gate. Temari appeared and was quick to pull her through the open passage.

"Phew!" She folded up her fan with a sigh. "Sorry about that. Wind and sandstorms are always strongest at the demarcation line between Kawa and Suna."

"No sweat," Sakura smiled, but bent over to catch her breath. "I'm just sorry Tsunade-sama made you come all this way out here just to meet me."

"Please." Temari dusted sand from the bashful shinobi's hair and shoulders. "It's an honor. We never see you guys around here when it's about leisure. And you made good time, it seems. Usually it takes everyone around 3 days to get here from Konoha."

Sakura pulled free the scarf from around her neck and shook it out. She was keenly aware of Temari's curious, almost critical tone, and took a moment to compose herself.

"Well, what can I say?" She grinned. "I _really _needed a vacation."

"Mn." Temari eyed her carefully for a moment, but then shrugged. "I know that feeling. Anyway, we had the staff set up a room for you back at home, so if you want we can just dump all of your stuff and let you—

"—a room? Staying with you guys?" Sakura stopped in her tracks, but Temari paid her no mind, walking on ahead toward town. When the blonde didn't respond, Sakura ran to her side to keep up.

"It's really not necessary for you and your siblings to go to so much trouble! Like I said, it's just a vacation, and I can afford a room at a local—

"—Sakura, enough." Temari stopped abruptly and put her hands on her hips. "It's the least we can do as a village, and as friends."

"Friends…" Sakura said it out loud and it wasn't until Temari frowned that she realized how sad she'd sounded. Looking out over the vast desert land and its people, she suddenly felt small. Though dry and warm, Suna reminded Sakura so much of Konoha. Regular children out to play, shinobi on their way to missions or back home to sleep… it was quaint and peaceful.

"Yes, friends." Temari put an arm around her shoulders. "Now stop looking so glum. I have some work to do this evening, but once all that's over, we can head out for some drinks."

Though Sakura was hesitant, she managed a nod.

When the two arrived at the Kage Tower, there was no one around aside for a few staff workers, busying themselves tiding things that already looked immaculate. Still sweaty and sticky with sand, Sakura immediately felt out of place. She'd never seen Tsunade's living arrangements in the tower back at Konoha, but couldn't even imagine it compared to this. While the rooms weren't decked out in ostentatious fixtures, everything was so clean and spacious, she was afraid to touch or linger on anything for even a second more than necessary.

"Here's your room." Temari led Sakura through the spacious sitting area to the biggest guestroom the pinkette had ever seen.

"Jesus Christ," she muttered under her breath, taking in the blown glass sculptures on the beautifully crafted dresser, and walk in closet spread open to hold her meager belongings. Across from them, staggering bay windows opened up to view what seemed like the entirety of Suna.

The room made her entire apartment back in Konoha seem like a shoebox.

"Yeah…you get used to it," Temari clapped a hand on her shoulder, chucking. "Take a shower, a nap, whatever. Kankuro and I will probably be back around 11 to take you out, so prepare your liver."

The blonde threw her a smirk, and Sakura was eerily reminded of Ino.

'_Ino…'_ she thought, feeling a pang of guilt. It had been so long since she'd shared the important things with her friend.

But she couldn't dwell on it. Sakura dumped her bag on the floor next to the four poster bed and stared longingly into the bathroom. All she could think about now was taking the world's longest shower.

* * *

><p>AN: This was originally a longer chapter, but I split it into two because it was way too much all at once. Expect some lovely awkward GaaraSakura interaction in chapter 4, coming soon! (wayyyy sooner than this one did) Leave a review and let me know what you think! :)


	4. Make You Sweat

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 4: Make you Sweat

**AN:** Another day, another chapter. :) It's so nice to see everyone favoriting and following this story! Hope you like the new chapter, and please-read with an open mind! ;-)

* * *

><p>Sakura Haruno entered the Kagzekage's home a slightly sweaty kunoichi and woke up a prune. She only intended to soak in the bath for a few minutes—half an hour, tops—but as soon as the warm, sweet scented water surrounded her, she was out like a light. Even in the twelve inches of water, after 3 hours dozing blindly, it was a wonder she hadn't drowned.<p>

"Fuck," Sakura muttered, staring at her reddened body in the mirror. She'd planned on visiting Gaara first thing, but how could she now, looking like a pitcher of Kool-Aid?

Before running her fingers through her hair, she stopped herself. Since when did she care what Gaara thought of her? Why was this suddenly becoming such a big deal?

Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose, remembering the moment they'd shared on her doorstep. Her fingers, grabbing him, his face so close she could practically count each and every one of eyelashes. Shrugging a plain shirt over her head, she sighed. This was her pattern with men. Good looks, maybe a moment of kindness, and she would fixate for as long as it took for them to hurt her.

"Don't go there," she told herself. No matter what kind of new leaves the Kazekage had turned over in his life, or how nice he pretended to be, he was just a means to an end for her.

Just like she'd been for Sasuke.

Without a second thought, Sakura threw her hair up in a ponytail and grabbed a pair of track pants, slinging them low on her hips. Though woefully unpolished, she stepped confidently through the tower halls in search of the main office. Hair wet and pulled back, skin flushed, she knew she still looked good. Sakura had done training in seduction with Tsunade before. Most times, it only took some skin and a smile to get a target to do exactly what you wanted.

The problem was, Sakura wasn't sure exactly what that was yet. She wanted to get close to Gaara, close enough for him to trust. If she wanted to escape to the Mist with a good head start, she needed a legitimate reason to get out of Suna early and put as much distance as she could between her and Konoha. The bigger that gap, the harder it would be for them to start tracking.

As soon as Sakura arrived in front of the office, she drew in a long, deep breath. She'd never been good at sexy, but if she'd learned anything from her time with Sasuke, it was that men always went for vulnerable. Something they could dominate. Control. Gaara may have played kind those nights before, but surely, he wasn't any different. She just had to let him _think_ he owned her. Then, he'd do anything.

"Kazekage-sama?" Sakura gave the office door a sharp knock as she pushed in. Gaara was at his desk, head down, sifting through paperwork.

"Matsuri, if it's more reports, just leave them by the door…" He trailed off upon seeing her, and then froze briefly before composing himself. He hadn't prepared for this – running into her so soon.

Gaara wasn't sure whether he could pull off being the right amount of friendly, so decided hastily on defaulting to stoic. Their eyes met briefly, and though Sakura hadn't expected his almost disdainful gaze, she swallowed down the urge to glare.

"Sorry. I thought you were someone else." He shuffled the papers in his hands and placed them back down on the edge of the desk. "Did you need something, Haruno-san?"

He tried hard to avoid Sakura's stare, but just the smell of her unnerved him. She'd obviously just taken a shower, and her skin was flushed the palest pink to compliment her hair. Bright pink hair, pulled up to expose the slim, pale curve of her neck. He could smell sandalwood – familiar from the soaps the maids left out—mixed with the sweetness of summer berries.

Over the years, Sakura had become quite adept at picking up microchanges in emotion and chakra release, but she didn't need any of that training to sense the heavy tension in the room. The redhead held it all in his shoulders and along his strong jawline. No matter how hard he tried to look busy, Sakura could see the little twitches and feel the pulses of chakra that told her he was incredibly bothered by her presence. It wasn't what she wanted, but maybe she could work with it.

Sakura chewed her lip, looking sweet. "Well, I…I wanted to thank you for extending such amazing hospi—

"—No need," Gaara put a hand up. "It's the least we could do. Suna is happy to have you."

Sakura nodded a few times, but stayed glued in his hallway. It was only the beginning, after all.

"Something else?" Gaara felt as uncomfortable as hell with her standing there, but only hoped he didn't look it.

"About...a few nights ago…" Sakura steeled herself, but again, Gaara was primed to cut her off. "Don't." She stopped him first.

"What? Come on, does it pain you that much to hear the sound of my voice?" she chuckled, teasing, but curious all the same. Gaara started to look away, but the bitterness in her voice he'd heard nights ago was back in full force.

"I just think it would be best if we forget what happened," he explained.

Sakura moved quickly towards his desk, and sighed out. She had a painful habit of invading people's personal space when she was determined, and Gaara leaned back in his chair, away from her.

"I can't." She put her hands on her hips, then moved them around her body, to hug herself. "I mean, I don't want to. I embarrassed myself, and you were so kind to me. I don't want to forget that."

Gaara lowered his gaze to Sakura's fingers to avoid her eyes, shining bright with emotion. They were trembling, and she looked strangely unstable. He didn't like it.

"After all my country and my friends have done for me, I try my hardest to help those who seem in need. A little kindness can go a long way," Gaara explained. "Naruto inspired that in me."

Sakura tilted her head down, nodding again. "He inspires a lot of people." She tried not to smile, afraid that tears would run down her face.

"And you." Gaara straightened himself back up in his chair. "Our medical teams talk about you and the fifth here, constantly. And what a strong, valuable team you make. It's no doubt why they're so protective of you on your vacation. I'm sure the last thing they'd want is to lose such a precious asset."

He said it, saw her shocked face, and then felt like burying himself under six feet of sand. Something about Sakura Haruno was causing him to run off at the mouth, and he hated it. But, when he saw Sakura's hands stop their trembling, and she reached out one palm to cover his, it was as if something in the room had shifted. The air around them, changed.

Gaara remembered the feel of her soft fingertips, and brushed his thumb across her knuckles, just as he'd done nights before. He'd touched Temari, Matsuri, some of the female staff (platonically, of course), but not once had he ever felt warmth like this.

He stared at their hands—perhaps too interested—and Sakura, red-faced, pulled away. There it was again. The kindness, the touching… When had Sabaku no Gaara become so soft?

"Well, that's all." She shifted her feet nervously. Gaara hung his head down over his paperwork and forced himself to look interested again, though he was sure his cheeks were on fire.

"Yes, that's fine." He cleared his throat at her. "Like I said, there's no reason for us to discuss it any further."

A silence settled in the office, but when Sakura didn't budge, Gaara let out a sigh. He was ready to lose his mind with her near him like that.

"Is there something else?" He said through grit teeth. Sakura seemed to immediately snap out of her daze.

"Ah, oh… it's just… Kankuro and Temari are taking me out tonight for drinks." She wrung her hands together, nervous. "I hope I'll see you there, too."

"Not likely," he scoffed over his paperwork, but when a brief sadness flickered in Sakura's eyes, he stopped himself from going further.

"Right." She bit her lip and hung her head for good measure. "Of course."

Before Gaara could think to offer anything else, Sakura ducked and bolted out of the room. She'd seen the guilty look in his eye. He'd have no choice but to come out and see her. As soon as the door shut behind her, Sakura wanted to give herself a pat on the back, but it only took a moment before she collided with someone coming around the corner.

"Ahh!"

There was a burst of feathers and Sakura fell backwards onto the hardwood floor. Immediately it felt as though someone was clawing in her hair, but after a few choice swears, the sensation left as quickly as it came. When the flurry cleared, Sakura found herself staring up at a purple painted face.

"K-kankuro…?" She caught her breath and frowned up at a smirking sand nin.

"Lady pink! Sorry, my bad." Kankuro bent down to help her to her feet, but Sakura noticed the way his gaze skimmed over her body before he even outstretched a hand.

_Typical._

"It's okay. I wasn't paying attention." Instead of letting him help, Sakura pushed herself back to her feet and dusted a few feathers from her neckline. It was then, she noticed the puppeteer was holding a rather panicked looking pigeon.

"What's that about?" she chuckled. Kankuro's gaze wandered down the hall to Gaara's office and he grinned.

"Nothing. Just a message for 'our great leader,'" he teased. "But don't worry about that. How are you? I mean, you look great."

"Oh please." Sakura rolled her eyes as Kankuro shuffled the fidgety pigeon from one hand to the other. He'd always been quite the flirt with the girls in Konoha, and for him, today was a day like any other. But Sakura couldn't help but notice how different Kankuro looked. Sure, he still had the face paint, but Kankuro was eerily casual in a pair of slacks and rumpled white button-down. Even his hair, usually covered away under his black hat, was free and stylishly unstyled. She had to admit – good looks ran in the family.

"No, really." He leaned against the doorframe with one arm, flexing his bicep. "You're always on point. Glad you took some time off to come hang in Suna. We have some great hot springs, you know. I could show you around one day."

Sakura chuckled to herself. "That's really kind of you, Kankuro, but—

"—What are you doing hassling her, you dolt?"

Sakura breathed a sigh as soon as Temari came around the corner, hands on her hips.

"Just ignore this one," she gave her brother a playful shove. "He just got back a few days ago from a long solo mission and is now preying on anything with ovaries."

"Lucky me." Sakura smiled on the outside, but yet again, was reminded of Sasuke. Whenever he decided to grace her with his presence after weeks or months of being gone, it was always about sex. Never conversation or any sort of real closeness.

"Like I said…ignore him." Temari broke into her thoughts. "Let's get some food in you. Last thing we need tonight is a lightweight on our hands."

"Hey – when have I ever been a lightweight?" Sakura pouted, but Temari swung an arm around her shoulder with a grin.

"Come on, don't you remember last year…"

As they rounded the corner, Kankuro watched the duo disappear with a smile. He had to admit, it was nice having another friend around, especially if it meant a dose of eye-candy. He'd never really gotten to know much about Sakura before, but he knew women, and he figured that was good enough.

When Kankuro entered Gaaras office with the pigeon in hand, he was startled to see that his little brother was no longer at his desk. Instead, he sat in the large bay window, staring at something outside.

"Do you need something?" Gaara asked without looking up.

Kankuro let go of the pigeon and it flew past Gaara's stoic face and out the window. It wasn't a real messenger, and he'd fully intended on only messing with his brother again, but this was odd. In all his time since becoming a guard of the Kazekage, Kankuro had never once seen his brother take a break. Sure, of course he must have, sometime, but not when he was around. Every time that door opened, Gaara was at his desk, hard at work, but this week that had slowly been deteriorating. First it'd been him staring out into space. Now, sitting in the windowsill watching the clouds? The last thing Kankuro wanted was another Nara in the family.

"What's going on with you?" Kankuro shut the door behind himself and then leaned against it, frowning.

Gaara stepped down from the windowsill and crossed his arms in a similar unamused fashion.

"I'm taking a break. Do you have something pertinent to share with me, or is it just yet again time for one of your usual disturbances?"

Kankuro just smirked to himself. "Sakura arrived here a little while a—

"—I know," Gaara interrupted him. Though he didn't move when he said it, Kankuro honed in on the tightness in his little brother's jaw. Gaara was always known to carry a lot of tension around him – it was why he meditated so much – but Kankuro had never seen it this bad.

"You worried about something?"

Gaara ignored the question at first and turned back to the window, but when he caught sight of the green kite again, thought of Sakura's eyes, shining with tears.

"It just seems off to me," he said. "The timing… her attitude… Why do you think she's really here?"

Kankuro mulled over for something for a moment and then shrugged. It really wasn't normal for Gaara to be so interested in someone as trivial as Sakura Haruno. Not unless…

"Vacation, like she said. Probably to cut loose in a place she knows no one will really bother her. Especially after what happened back in Konoha."

"What?" Gaara tried his best not to sound too interested, but Kankuro was observant enough to see the tell in his eyes.

He took a seat on Gaara's desk. "It happened while I was away, but I heard she made a huge scene at the engagement party with Naruto and Hinata. Surprised you didn't see her… She came onto him pretty hard or something. In front of everyone."

Gaara was suddenly taken back to Sakura on the doorstep, looking quite helpless.

"_I made a mistake tonight," _she had said._ "I don't know if I can fix it."_

"She had too much to drink," Gaara said quickly, but when he caught sight of the curiosity in Kankuro's eyes, regretted it.

"So you _did_ see her."

"After," he corrected. "I walked her home."

"Ohh… I get it." Kankuro gave a cheeky smile. "So you two had a little…"

"—stop yourself. Now." Gaara deadpanned, and if looks could kill, Kankuro would have been dead three times over.

"I'm just asking…" Kankuro grinned, hands up in defense. "There's something about those things… other people's engagement parties, baby showers, weddings. Women go crazy. I think it makes them come to terms with their own failed romantic exploits…or something like that."

Gaara was quiet. He played dumb sometimes, but his brother was quite astute when he wanted to be.

"Sasuke hasn't been back for a while. Maybe she's been waiting on him to propose and the whole thing set her off. Who knows with women?"

Gaara's mood darkened at the mention of the Uchiha. After all the pain he'd caused their respective countries, he never was very supportive of Naruto's rescue. Gaara hadn't believed that Sasuke could really change, but he'd been pardoned, he was back, and it seemed Gaara was wrong.

'_So they're in a relationship.'_

He'd been vaguely aware of Sakura's attraction to the Uchiha during the war, but it didn't occur to him that anything would ever progress. Some people, he thought, just weren't cut out for love.

"You seem a little fixated." Kankuro broke Gaara's train of thought again with another mischievous smile. Gaara wasn't sure how to respond. It was true, after all. There was something about Sakura's presence that troubled him and he wasn't sure why. It was causing him to overthink.

"It's not a bad thing," he chuckled when Gaara was silent. "She _**is**_ hot. A little loud, and those tits could use some work, but I'd definitely—

Out of nowhere, a blast of sand shot up from the floor and knocked Kankuro into the wall.

"Get. Out."

()()()()()()()()()()

* * *

><p>By the time Sakura reached the local bar, <em>Gust<em>, with Temari, her cheeks were sore from all the laughter. It seemed like ages since she'd really enjoyed herself, and it was a surprise doing so in Suna, with Temari. Not that the girl wasn't friendly, but in all their years knowing one another, Sakura had mostly perceived her to be rather hardened and serious. Yet all throughout dinner, she was nothing but smiles – telling jokes and laughing hard.

"…I swear to God I can't believe I ever fucked him – he was absolutely obsessed with my feet!" Temari snickered into a glass of tequila. "But great at dining in, if you get my drift."

Sakura covered her mouth to keep from snorting with laughter. "You have to stop! I'm going to spit up all over the bar!"

"Please do. Perfect blackmail material!" Temari gave her a pat on the back, and Sakura couldn't keep from spluttering.

"Ah…It's really great to see you smiling again. I was a little worried." she stopped her hand and gave Sakura's shoulder a squeeze. The pink haired ninja calmed herself and looked back down into her drink.

'_Am I really so transparent?'_

"Why would you say that?" She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Temari glanced the fidgety movement, but kept the friendly smile on her lips.

"Well, before you seemed…I dunno…_sad_."

"Well, everyone's allowed to be sad once in a while, aren't they?"

Before Temari could respond, Sakura sucked hard on a lime and threw back her own shot. The blonde snorted with laughter as her friend squeaked and shook her head in revulsion. Even all made up and dressed to the nines, she didn't look right. She had used to sparkle, Sakura. She used to shine. It was only recently that light had seemed to dim.

"Just tell me who I need to knock out!" Temari shouted over the music. She gestured to her fan on the seat beside her with a wink. "Friends get one free."

"Well, it's not as if you'd be able to find him," Sakura chuckled bitterly. Temari froze, looking at her friend from the corner of her eye. The last thing she wanted was to do was turn the night into something heavy. Whatever Sakura was running from, it was her business and no one else's. Everyone needed a break from real life now and then.

"Fuck, you two started without me! I told you to wait at the restaurant!"

Temari jumped when she felt a strong arm swing over her shoulder, but then sighed out upon seeing Kankuro push through the crowd at the bar, grinning widely.

_Saved by the idiot._

"Only a few," Temari raised her empty glass at her brother. "You can buy the next round. Or two."

And so he did. Kankuro slid onto the bar stool beside Sakura and made sure their glasses were full all night. Like Temari, Kankuro was also great conversation. Sakura hadn't ever really noticed how funny he was. And attentive, unlike another sand sibling she knew.

It had been over two hours, and Gaara hadn't made an appearance. So he was the Kazekage. So what? Tsunade went out to drink all the time, and in the end, Sakura knew she'd felt something in that room. Just the smallest bit of attraction, and usually that was enough for most men to make a move.

'_Maybe he's __**too much**__ like Sasuke…' _Sakura thought, but Kankuro's loud voice snapped her back to reality.

"Hey listen!" He gave her nose a playful little flick with his finger.

That night, Kankuro wore his hair in a slicked back style and the same outfit from earlier, but with the buttons quite generously undone. Facepaint was back, but in a simple stripe across the bridge of his nose. Any other night, Sakura wouldn't have paid him any mind, but now, with Konoha and Sasuke seeming a million miles away, she felt free. Free to touch his arm, to lean in close, to flirt and be flirted with. No man had paid her this much attention in years; It was…thrilling.

Beside them, Temari watched the two over her glass, bemused.

"…And so I threw it in his face! Feathers fucking everywhere!"Kankuro took another swig of beer and Temari rubbed her temples as she listened to the same story she'd heard a thousand times before. Sakura however, six tequila shots deep, found it hilarious.

"And so what did he do?!" She gripped her sides, laughing over the bartop.

"Oh you should have seen his fucking face." Kankuro leaned in closer. "He tried to be all stony, but I could see the freakout."

"You should really cut him a break," Temari pulled the bottle from her brother's hand to steal a sip. "He's been under a lot of stress recently."

"Really?" Sakura piped up, suddenly interested.

"Yeah, thanks to birdboy here. Kankuro organized this whole tour thing behind Gaara's back to get the local kids to shadow him for a day."

"You didn't!" Sakura gave Kankuro's shoulder a playful smack, laughing at the thought of Gaara trying to wrangle an office full of rambunctious kids.

"I thought it would be a wonderful way to give back to the community," Kankuro smirked, and then gave a wink to a couple of passing civilian girls.

Temari shot him a glare. "Yeah right, more like more chance for you to flirt with their mothers."

"Oh please," Kankuro spun on his chair to face Sakura directly. "Temari here knows the only person I want to flirt with right now is you."

At first, Sakura was startled, but then bowed her head with a smile. She had to admit, the attention felt good. More than good, really. Fantastic. In the next few days, she'd be out of Suna. With or without an excuse from the Kazekage. The least she could do was live it up a little.

"Prove it." She placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed. "Dance with me. Pay me a little attention."

Sakura threw in a wink, but Kankuro was more than ready. "As you wish." Placing both hands on her hips, he pulled her up from the stool and onto the dancefloor.

"Oh this should be good," Temari chuckled to herself, but as soon as the music slowed to a sexy R&B track, something in her stomach churned.

Watching them come together like that, her brother pressed close behind her good friend, the lazy way Sakura swayed against him… she felt more than uneasy. Kankuro was wonderful fun, but he wasn't serious. And Sakura didn't seem to be in a place to handle that.

"You dance with all your friends like this?" Kankuro murmured on Sakura's neck, quite surprised by the smooth rhythm of her hips, grinding into his lap. It was taking everything in him not to react, and if it had been any other girl, he swore he would have had her bent over a railing already.

"Just the cute ones." Sakura turned in his arms, and Kankuro took the chance to slide his palms down to cup her ass. Sober, Sakura would have sent him flying, but brain buzzing high, all she could do was smile.

"So you think I'm cute." Kankuro slid his hands back up, this time to cup her face. She looked different than from in the hallway back at home. She'd been barefaced then, and now had full painted lips and cheeks rosy with blush. Her lashes— dark, thick, and most likely fake, made her green eyes pop against pale skin.

She was hot.

Not the hottest he'd ever had, but coated with a cool kind of sweetness he'd always been attracted to. Sakura closed her eyes as he pushed sweaty pink strands from her cheeks, and then massaged down across her collarbones.

"I did. I did say that," She hummed without opening her eyes. "It runs in the family."

'_Gaara,'_ Kankuro thought, and remembered how curious he'd been about the kunoichi. It seemed to surpass his usual awkwardness around women.

"Why did you come here?" Kankuro twirled her in his arms before she could react, and they resumed their initial position, Sakura's back to his front. "Why Suna? I'm sure Konoha has lots of bars and _cute_ _guys_, though none on my level, I'm sure."

Sakura laughed loud. "Guess I was too tired of _getting fucked_ back home."

A less observant guy might have perceived it as a joke, but Kankuro knew better. He'd seen her from time to time around Konoha since Sasuke left again. Standing outside the hospital building doing nothing, or near the playgrounds staring out into space. It was like she was barely functioning. And Kankuro knew as well as anyone else, a vulnerable ninja, especially a kunoichi, was a liability. Open to coercion and rash behavior.

His hold on her lightened a little, and in his head, he sighed. He couldn't do it. Not like this.

Sakura forced him to hold her correctly again, and tilted her face to his. _It was about time he just kissed me already_, she thought. _Doesn't he want to?_

"Come on you two," Temari was quick to split them up when the song finally ended. "I think it's about time we all gave it a rest."

"Shh shh shh!" Temari scolded Kankuro and Sakura as they staggered into the mansion, giggling loudly. They'd been unbearably talkative since their little show on the dancefloor, and frankly, she was sick of it. The last thing she wanted to see—or hear—was her playboy brother and trashed gal pal getting it on together under her roof.

"Guys, you're going to piss off—

"—I thought I heard something annoying." Gaara turned on the hall lights with a smirk. It held for only a moment. Just one moment, and then he saw her. Pink hair wild and sticking to the sweat on her neck. Cleavage straining against the front of her floral bralet, the smooth skin of her stomach bare. She seemed barely unable to support herself, but Kankuro helped her generously, his hands low on her hips, body pressed close from behind.

Too close.

"…goodnight." He turned on his heel and walked away from the trio, back down the hall, into the darkness.

"Well that was bizzare…" Temari muttered to herself, and let go of the doorframe, causing Kankuro and Sakura to spill forward onto the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Guys…" she waved her fan at them in warning. "Tonight was fun, but I swear to God if you keep me up tonight…"

Kankuro was unable to calm himself, but Sakura managed a drunken salute. As soon as Temari disappeared down a dark corridor, she flopped back onto the floor, holding her sides. Kankuro was strangely quiet.

Still catching her breath, Sakura blinked open her eyes to see him standing over her, painted face looking quite serious.

"It was a good night," he said softly. Pink flooded into Sakura's cheeks.

"Yeah," she managed, and sat up. "Really good."

It had been easy at the bar, her mind clouded with alcohol and noise, but in the silence of the tower, everything was far too real. Sasuke had been her first. Her only. She had no idea how to do…_this._

And with Kankuro?

Sakura drew in a deep breath. She could do it. He'd invite her to his room, they'd fool around a little, and she'd ask him for a favor. Cover for her while she went to _"visit a friend in Iron Country._" By then she'd have at least three days to get to Mist before they started a hunt.

"Sakura?" Kankuro waved his hand in front of her face.

"Ah, yes!" Sakura sprang to her feet and blushing, caught hold of Kankuro's hand. "You were saying?"

"I was saying goodnight." He tilted her chin up with his finger. "Sleep tight."

"I…" Sakura felt his hand slip from hers, and panicked. "But…I thought…I mean, don't you want to—

"—I have to be up early in the morning," he smiled and pulled away from her completely. "Hope you enjoy your vacation here."

Sakura stood dumbfounded as Kankuro walked away from her and disappeared, just like Gaara, down the hall. As soon as she heard his room door shut, Sakura felt her hands begin to tremble, and then her body shake.

'_He knows.'_ A voice inside her chuckled, wickedly. _'They all know. And it's just like he said. Nobody even wants to touch you now, you barren slut.'_

"Shut up!" Sakura struggled to muffle her voice into her fist.

Her breathing quickened, and in the distance, another door clicked shut.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Long chapter! Gaara and Sakura! Gaara and Kankuro! Lol. The aim of this chapter was to kind of consider Sakura's screwed up mindset at this point due to what happend to her in the past. Also, how she perceives people (men, specifically) and how they see her.


End file.
